A MANIC PIXIE DREAM BOY AWAKENS

[◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊]

Death. It was like the beginning of a depressive episode. Every aspect of it anticipated with dread but still somehow surprisingly miserable as it set in. And life was still there, just the worst aspects of it, of course. Dad and MacColmb, always breathing down his neck. Phone calls from people who wouldn't let the past go. The new overlord Vicier, with his creepy whims and browbeating menace.

But then something rare happened. Some people reached out, tried to help. People in trouble, helping each other. The house of sorrows became a less miserable place to be. Jess was a godsend. Fun people reached out, and he reached back. It was time again.

Time to look for REAL life. Life on the edge, where you lose yourself and find yourself, or at least some sense the eternal serenity and power packed into every second of time. Where to first..?

             
                  Hunter-
            "Omigod Jess, we just-- we have to
    get out of here! It's like, killing my soul.
 All over again. Can souls die? 'Cause like,                Jess-
  mine feels dead.                                                           "I know what you mean.  Some
                                                                      student at BADA gave me a bad performance
                                                                         review, so mean they dropped me from my
                                                                                                adjunct gig. I need freedom."
                     
                 Hunter-
      "Omigod that's terrrriible! Some
   people need to get a thicker skin,                         Jess-
this is the art world honey, wake up!"          "I knooow!  But actually it was
                                                                                     because I was daysick and they
                                                                                     thought I was on drugs.  Again,
                                                                                                     the art world, hello?"
             
               Hunter-
    "So what's on our agenda, any of these
   new people-- we call them people still,              Jess-
             right?  Any of them look cool?"            "Oh sure, we're still people.  We're
                                                                                       good people.  Um... As far as cool,
                                                                                 Zody and Dana seem interesting. Plus
                                                                                      they're living their old lives, like us.
                                                                                                         Kinda interesting? Right?"
       
              Hunter-
      "Oh yeah! The other new kids.
  That's a good idea, sometimes I feel like                       Jess-
kinda embarrassed that I don't know what               "Oh my god I know what you
I'm doing. Nice to have someone we can                 mean. But also, they're pretty
show the ropes to ourselves! At least a little..."           hot. Haha, I'm terrible."
             
        Hunter-
  "Oooh I know you are! Hehehe... I didn't
 get a good look though! Guess this is our
 chance, maybe we should just drop by                     Jess-
 and see them like, in the flesh!"                              "That sounds sooo much racier
                                                                                         than it should. When should we go?"
      
 "Unlife won't wait, let's just, like, go!"
                                                                                       "Oh my god, really?"

           Really. They left the Masher offices and got on Hunter's scooter.

[◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊]

Hunter and Jess dug up home addresses for Zody and Dana. Dana, it turned out, was staying with Zody on the sly in her project apartment, to avoid being noticed cold vampin' by their last remaining roommate of the moment. So they scooted up to that joint with a quickness.

Jess-
"Can we go in the halls there?
Will we need invitation?"                  Hunter-
                                                "Let's find out! Ooh wow, this place
                                                     has so much character!"
Jess-
"Yeah, I can't believe people don't
cherish these buildings.  Where else
can you see crown molding these days? 
And exposed pipes and lead paint,
but y'know.  Character."

The building was smaller than the newer projects - only five stories.
The bricks still had some fossilized dark residue from when the city
had been choked with burning coal over a hundred years before.

  They parked the scooter at a playground.  Hunter
whipped it up and dangled it off a swing.  Jess laughed.


                                                         Hunter-
                                                   "This is so fun! I wish they had
                                                  a playground at my condo."
Jess-
"But it's so real too. Poverty is bad,
but ... just interesting."

 The door to the building was locked, with a buzzer next to the door.
It only had apartment numbers - many worn off or crudely scratched
in with permanent marker - but they happened to know Zody's number.

Hunter pressed the buzzer and put on his best accent.

      
  Hunter-
"Hallo, 'dhis iss your master Ahn-zelm... I need you jetzt, mach schnell...!"

The hesitant voice came,

Zody-
" ... What? Are you sure?"

Jess restrained laughter.

  Hunter-
"Jaja, very essential, uh, achtung!"

Zody-
"OK, we'll come down." *clook*

Jess-
"No invitation necessary!  Achtung, haha."
   
              Hunter-
"Haha I don't even remember what it means."

A while of quippery later, Zody and Dana emerged from the door.

Zody-
"Heey, you're... I thought that
voice didn't sound right."            Dana-
                                                       "I couldn't tell."

Jess-
"Surprise!"                                                           Hunter-
                                                        "Haha, I thought I did pretty good.
                                                         How are you guys doing?
                                                           We wanted to like, get out of
                                                               the house, mind visitors?"

 Zody-
"Ha, I guess not.  Maybe don't
freak us out first next time."
                                                           Dana-
                                      "I don't know... I guess now that
                                       I've risked getting seen to come
                                      out here, maybe I should take
                                      advantage to go out for a while."

Jess-
"You're not supposed to be here?"

Dana-
"Strict visitor policies."

Hunter-
"Aw, sorry, didn't mean to freak you out. So what's
    fun to do around here? Any cool dive bars?"

Zody-
"The bars here are pretty hard core.  I guess we don't have much
to worry about from gettin' stabbed, but queerphobic abuse is no
fun either.  Whatever we do, let's get Dana away from the building."

                                               Dana-
                                              "Yeeeh, let's walk to the bus stop."

Jess-
"Aww. Where do you go for fun?"

Zody-
"North Downtown, Yoony, some other spots.
  Closest place I'd go is Tolliver's on 438th."

Hunter-
"Oh sure, I've taken the city bus a few times. Lead the way!"

 Hunter pretended to take this in casually, as an interesting
cultural experience.  Dana led the way back out to the street.


Hunter-
"So you don't live with your... uh, guy? Anselm?
Guess you didn't have to 'die' like us, that's nice."

Zody-
"Die..?  Oh, it was very violent?"

Jess-
"Yeaaaaah, it was pretty gross
anyways."                                                                  Hunter-
                            "Oh, well, yeah that's true, I meant you get to stay 'alive',
                                                 like not fake your deaths like the other kids."

Dana-
"The worst part is waking up hungry, but we had good help.  Not really our
  guy.  Anselm is ... well, we definitely got the impression he didn't want to
   turn anybody.  Which was weird, because he seemed very cool at first."

Hunter-
  "Aw, really? He was super nice to us when we met. Maybe he felt weird
about it since they were being pretty rude about it at this... vampire meeting."

                                                               Dana-
                          "That's interesting.  We weren't there for...
                   anything.  The high-ups, they're called the Circle? 
                             This one named Demetri came about and
                                    gave us some advice about avoiding
                                          bald vampires and such."
Zody-
"Oh yeah, what happened at the meeting?"

Jess-
  "Vicier was showing us off and other vampires were not
impressed, so then he's mad and they're mad.  God, it was hellish."

They reached the stop - a bent metal pole with a scratched sign.
  
Hunter-
"Yeah, ugh... that was like... our first night. The older vampires are
kinda... terrifying. They're like, centuries old. Anyway, Anselm was
really nice, he told us it was gonna be okay and stuff, and it's like--
simple, but it was really nice at the time. Like it's really hard at first
but then you get more freedom and it's pretty accurate so far."

Zody-
  "Our experience has been super-weird.  All the freedom right
away, but then there's this thing ... This sense of somethin' intense
happenin' right around the corner.  And when it's resolved, how
much freedom do we have?  And will we even be alive?"

                                                                     Dana-
                                                         "Being glum.  That's my job."

Jess-
"It's for neither of you tonight. 
We gotta do something fun!"                  Hunter-
                                                       "Yeah, think of all the fun we can
                                                  have now without having to worry
                                                 about all those little human things.
                                                 Hope you're not scared of heights...!"

Dana-
"What?"

   LATER THAT NIGHT, they scaled a sky scraper, only
brave enough to use the least windy side.  On the 35th floor
  the reached a balcony that would serve their purposes...

Zody-
"Ugh. Wow. Ugh. That was insane. Why did we do that?"
  
Hunter-
"Sooo... see that cathedral over there? Let's see it up close. "

Dana-
"Eh... Ah, that's what you have in the pack.  What?  A hang glider?"

Jess-
"Haha, that would be cool."                           Hunter-
                                            "I'll have to remember that for next time!"

 He pulled some strange gadget out of the duffelbag-- some sort
of crossbow contraption, and fired it into the distance. It trailed
 a tether behind it, and Jess unwrapped the handle component.

                                                      Hunter-
                                 "I got this for Godmas but I was always
                               too nervous to use it. Well, now we can't die! "
Jess-
"I just got a lot of shoes and terse letters."

Zody-
 "OK, a fall isn't likely to kill us, but I once made a very sexy
woman bored by asking what can.  It isn't as safe as all that."

                                                                            Hunter-
                                                             "All the more adventure, right?
                                                                    Who wants to go first?
                                                           I can give it a go if Jess thinks she
Jess-                                                      can properly motivate you."
"Oh yeah, let's see it! 
This is so amazing."

Hunter-
"Alright, here I go, scrape me up off the road if you'd be so kind!"

  He got the handles ready, and stepped on to the balcony ledge. With
an unnecessary breath, he jumped, letting the zip line do its thing.  They
 appraised his performance.  He slid down the rope easily to the roof of
   the cathedral, made some exultation-styled moves, then started
      rotating the line to send the handles back up.

Jess-
"WOOP WOOP!  YES!  This is so amazing.  Who's next?"

Dana-
"I can't do this."                                   Zody-
                                       "Yeah, I haven't been able to do
                                           a single pull up in... oh yeah, ever."

Jess-
"Vampire powers!  All you gotta do is
believe in yourself!  You can do it!"

Dana-
"You first."

Jess-
 "Nnnaaw.  The way I see it, if I leave you two here together, you can psych
 each other out into not going.  If one of you is left behind though, you'll feel
some kinda social pressure to go through with it.  So at least one of you first."

Dana and Zody looked at each other until Zody scrunched up her face.

Zody-
"Alright, I'll do it.  But the street scraping, for real."

Jess-
"Cross our hearts, but we won't even have to, I swear!"

Zody got the line in a death grip, eased her butt up onto the ledge, and took
 a moment to observe the last things she'd ever see.  Holy hell.  She went.
ZING!

Jess-
"Yes!  WOOP WOOP!"                        Dana-
                                          "Oh boy.  Gosh.  Sure looks like fun."

Jess-
"Your turn!"                                    Dana-
                                                   "Um, I think I want one more
                                           demonstration of technique, y'know?"

Jess-
"Uhh...  Alright.  Here I go!"

She WOOOOed all the way down.  As soon as she was settled into place
on the other side, and the guys were sending the handle back up to Dana,
they waved goodbye and started climbing down from the balcony.
On the cathedral roof,

Jess-
"Whaaaa..?"                                Hunter-
                                                      "Aw come on, totally lame!
                                                    Danaaaaa! Dooooo it!! C'mon!"
       
Zody-
"And that made the whole trip worth it.  Haha..."


                                                                                                                ***

Hunter and Jess buzzed down winding roads and hopped off the scooter at Greyburn's new abbey.

Jess-
"So, like..."  she looked at her phone, 
"Clovis and Babette are supposed to live here."

                                                                                      Hunter-
 "Oh my gosh, this is sooo romantic. Can you imagine living somewhere
like this? It would be so inspirational. I mean, I wouldn't like, paint it or
   anything, but it could really inform you on a conceptual level."

Jess-
"We met Babette once, with those Lichgate guys.
  I wonder if it informs, like, her performance."

She said it like a foreign word or item of technical jargon.
  
Hunter-
"It must be so hard to work in film, how to separate yourself
from the big studio projects and make sure it's got like, art to it."

Jess-
"I knoow, it's like, even moreso than in fine art, so many ideas have been
  used by now that one cannot help but dip into pastiche with narrative.
 Maybe their next movie could have less narrative?"

The new abbey had lights on up in the second floor, the only
sign of life.  The front door had no buzzer or comm system.

                                                   Hunter-
                                     "I heard August's last film was pretty powerful,
                                                       didn't see it myself but...
                                      Hum, maybe I should just peek in up there
                                                   and make sure they're not busy?"
Jess-
"Oh my god, like, you think
they're doing it?  Haha.  YIPE!"

A ghoulish phantom appeared at the window in silhouette - so skinny.

Hunter-
"OMG I didn't even-- oh! Hi there! Hellooo? Come out and play? Haha..."

The figure drew its arms out like wings, trailing a transparent cloth
membrane.  It folded in on itself and vanished.  Skinny non-Babette
person appeared on ground outside the window and stalked toward
them with Lord Demos styled spooky steppin'.
                 
                          Lady-
                   "Whooo are yoou?"

Jess-
"Oh my god!"                                          Hunter-
                                                             "Whoa, whoa! Sorry!  We were just
                                                   coming around to visit Babette and Clovis! 
                                                   We're-- uh-- the new kids! V-vicier's kids!"
         
Lady-
"Babette iss not here.  She makes de movies vith Au-gust, I beliefe.
Clovis, my child, is... about de grounds vith hiss little friend Chloë.
Should I call to him?"

Hunter-
"Sure! That'd be nice, thanks...?"

Lady-
"... ... ..."

Jess-
"Yeeah...."

Clovis and Chloë approached on crunching gravel.

Clovis-
"What is this?"

Lady-
"Vicier youths come to zee you."

Clovis-
"So kind.  Who are you?"

Hunter-
    "Hi! Um, I'm Hunter and this is Jess.
We wanted to meet everyone since we're new..."

Chloë-
"Aw! That's so nice, how are you guys doing? Getting used to things?"
 
Hunter-
 "Heh, uh, kind of?  It's really nice to get out and
about again.  What do you guys like to do for fun?"

Lady-
"I bid you good night."  She disappeared into shadows.

Clovis-
"Ausmiller, my lady.  Ahm, vee go to clubs and listen
   to dark music.  Sometimes I read poetry to her."

                                                      Hunter-
                                                        "Aww, that's so cute."
Jess-
"Hm... Maybe the club thing?"
      
Chloë-
"Sure, that sounds fun!  Stutter Club
is kind of small, but it's really close..."

They left and did their best to have fun.  Things just got a little out of hand.
   At the Bank of Harlan on 432nd and Wurlitz, the night teller looked
     at them with eyes inured to fear.

                 
                                      Teller-
                                "Are you quite done yet?"
            
         Chloë-                                                                Hunter-
  "Wha-- what are we even doing?!"     "I don't know, it just-- it just kinda happened!"

They dropped the money and ran.  Jess and
Clovis were making out in the getaway car.

 Jess-                                              Clovis-
"Mm, um, hi guys."                   "Um, vhat is all of this?"
  
Hunter-
"Uhh I'm about to drive really fast, okay?"

Chloë-
"Sounds good to me!"

AND THEN THEY WERE GONE!  Never seen like a shadow in the dark...

Jess planted her feet and held onto the bungee cord as a redundant measure, and Hunter went flying off the overpass as the vampire motorcyclist drove by.  As he descended, he came into Anselm's helmet-limited field of view, smiling and waving. Anselm's bike squealed as he braked, drawing an arc of burned rubber on the road.

Anselm-
"Oh no-- Oh, I'm glad I don't haff a gun. You scare me!"

Hunter-
"Aw, sorry!"

Anselm-
"It's okay, haha, you fall off a string!
It's like an upside balloon. "

Hunter-
"Woohoo! I think you get me, my friend."

  Hunter unhooked himself from the bungee, doing a
little flip and landing in the street.  Extreme sports boy.

Anselm stayed on his bike in the middle of the currently empty street.

Anselm-
"Are you haffing fun? I like to do it too, it's fun to jump.
 Vater tower is very high, you should try it."
 
Hunter-
"Yes!  Mostly I wanted to give you a surprise.  I guess if I almost
got shot, it worked, haha!  Anselm, right?  Thanks for being nice
to us at that creepy meetup.  We remember that."
  
Anselm-
"Aw, I'm glad it is help! I feel for it, I remember to go to creepy
parties vhen I am a baby. Do you vant to go for a ride?
Oh, your friend don't got a room 'dhough, you can drive a bike?"

Hunter-
"Hell yeah!  We came on my scooter, but I don't know if it can keep up."

   By then Jess was coming down the stairs at the
side of the overpass, hauling the scooter awkwardly.
Anselm hopped off the still-running bike.

   
Anselm-
"I trust you vith motorrad! Take to zomevhere interesting."

  He split into tiny birdlings that hopped on Hunter
and Jess's shoulders.  She almost dropped the scooter.

Jess-
"Oh my g-g-god!  What's going on?"

Hunter-
"Yikes! Haha, oh man, wow, weird!"

The tiny birds chirruped quietly.

Hunter-
"Guess we all have to surprise each other. 
Hey Jess, maybe we can just ditch the scooter
in the bushes or something, and come back for it?"

Jess-
"So we're going to take him for a ride on his own bike?"
  
Hunter-
"Huh, kinda funny. Guess you ride one enough,
   you never get to take the backseat?"

Jess-
"Wow, so cool. They always say motorcycles are too dangerous."

The birds on Hunter's shoulders chirruped.

Hunter-
"Man that's weird, hehe... But good weird!"

Anselm's bike had a lot more power than Hunter was used to, and
he drove it jerkily, and too slow, but luckily the streets in this area
were nigh-unto deserted. He spied the airfield in the distance.

                                                   Hunter-
                                                "Hmm... pretty quiet over there,
                                            just a couple planes on the runway..."
Jess-
"If you say so.  I'm sure it'll get noisy again any minute."

  Hunter circled the field, and found an open gate with only
   a loose chain guarding it from the road. He walked the bike
beneath it, looking around for any witnesses, and finding it clear.
 Jess was casting about wildly, afraid of losing birds, or getting
sniped but the government, or something...

 
Jess-
"Oh my god, Hunter,
what are you doing?"                                  Hunter-
                            "Shh, I'll just turn the headlights off and we
                            can just do a little driveby on these planes!"

He rolled the bike slowly toward the runway, trying to stay out of
the light as much as possible.  The birds on his shoulder chirped
curiously.  Jess was reaching maximum alarm, head snapping.

Jess-
"ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod"                 Hunter-
                                                           "Okay, here we go!"

 He lined up a good path and picked up speed alongside a small jet
as it started to roll.  Jess hunched down.  No one could keep track of
 the birds if they wanted to.  The air was rushing all around before
  the lumbering craft even picked up any speed.  Jess clocked some
    ground crew guy freaking out in the distance.

Jess-
"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD!"

Hunter laughed uproariously as he tried to keep up with the plane,
only pulling a U-turn when the ground crew guy was drawing too
 close.  He laughed until two of the birds were sucked into the wind
   current as the plane took off with a sonic boom.

Hunter-
"Oooh... oops..."

One of the remaining birds pecked him until
     he got that bike turned around and zipping away.

A mile away, Hunter slowed the bike down, laughing nervously.

 
Hunter-
"Err... is it bad when you lose some of those?"

    The remaining birds transformed into
an Anselm with a limp jacket sleeve.

Anselm-
"..."

Hunter-
"Oh no! Oh my god, oh man, can you grow it back?"


Anselm-
"..."

Anselm-
"Ha ha! I prank you. "
  
        Hunter-                                           Jess-
     "...That you did."                       "That is as funny as it is terrible.
                                                      I think we're ready to die for real now."

***

Hunter drove Jess and bird-form Vitus on his scooter, roaring down the street.
The vampires could speak to each other easily enough despite the conditions,
Vitus reaching a human voice with Sombreta mimicry.

Vitus-
"When do I get to find out
what you have in mind?"
                                                                                   Hunter-
                                                                         "When we're reeeeeady!
                                                                   Don't want to ruin the surprise!"
                                     Jess-
                            "Heeheehee!"

Vitus-
"What a... frolic..."

At last, they reached the biggest branch of the Harlan
   public library.  Vitus smiled as he re-human'd.

                                                                      Hunter-
                                                            "Sooo you know how they have
                                                           that big antiquities section?"
Vitus-
   "Oh yes.  It's like visiting old friends.  There used to be far
fewer publications so it was more possible to just read everything.
Some of it was very boring at the time, but coming back to them
now..."
 
                                                                     Hunter-
                                                     "Well, how about a private tour?
                                                        I came here when I was doing
                                                      my research project, my dad
                                                  got me permission. That probably
                                                      counts as an invitation, right?"
Vitus-
"Wow... probably.  We'll find out soon.  Thank you."

Jess-
"Hunter's so insightful about people, it's probably from being an artist."

Hunter-
"Aww, I try, I'm just lucky to have these connections! So blessed."

Vitus-
"It is nice..."

They made it inside, and let their senses drink in the antique experience
  - dust that could no longer choke or irritate, gentle wooden decay...

Hunter-
"This is so cool, just to be here when it's all quiet like this.
And you can smell-- ugh, man it's cool but kind of overwhelming.
Now that we're here, maybe we're the ones who need the tour!
What's good around here, Vitus?"

Vitus-
"Well, I usually come to a place like this as a personal, rather than
social experience.  I can show you the books that contributed in less
obvious ways to the major intellectual movements of the last hundred
years, but they are rather abstruse, doubt they'd be of interest..."

Jess-
"What about the other antiquities?  They aren't well-labelled."
  
Vitus-
"Ah, they're sort of disorganized.  That's an Iron Age Glennish
    brazier next to some pottery from Neyam and Chactun."

Hunter-
"Oh my gosh, do you ever find stuff that's the same
   age as you and like... wow, that must be so wild."

Vitus-
"Heh.  Lots of stuff.  About half the books in here
   are close, of the rest many are older than me."

Jess-
"Oh. My. God.  They're all so old!"
  
Hunter-
"Well, you know, old to us... Wow, I wonder what that will be
 like for us.  Is it ever hard to remember the past? I don't know
if that's just human people, when they get old and forget things,
 or if it's just having so much, like, experience."

Vitus-
"It's hard to remember the actual firsthand experience of being
human, but from conversations I've had, I think it's similar.  At
this point, my oldest memories are more like stories than dreams,
but sometimes a sensory experience lets me remember something
more abstract - like a scent reminding me of how a day felt."

Jess-
"Does everyone fall in love with you?"

Hunter-
"Oh my god, for real. Why couldn't you be our vampire master?"

Vitus-
"Er, that didn't work out so well for the last guy..."


                                                                                                                                 ***

  Berthe had spent the pre-dawn having a slightly morose conversation with Eli
and Vitus, but when she woke up, Hunter was carrying her by the shoulders
  while Jess held up her legs.  They were marching to the Vitusmobile.

Berthe-
"Je ne suis pas un cadavre... Ah... Put me down."

Jess-
"I dunno.  Do you wanna have fun tonight?"


Berthe-
"I don't understand."

Hunter-
"Don't you ever just like, want to go crazy?
This city is so vibrant, and now we can do anything!"


Berthe-
"Why does this mean you pack me as a luggage?"

Jess-
"Heehee, because it's fun.  Um, OK."

They loaded her into the back seat of Vitus's
     newest sedan.  Hunter had the keys.

Hunter-
"Soo there's this beautiful lighthouse I've always wanted to see..."


Berthe-
"What?  Uh..."  She was still trying to sort her long body out.

Jess-
"Ooh, lighthouses are so interesting.  Where is it?"

Hunter-
"It's out on the coast, a bit of a drive, but we can play some
nice tunes. Berthe-- oh you should take your shoes off
and let your feet hang out the window, it's soooo freeing."


Berthe-
"Oh... Oh, I don't think my feet are fit for public showing."

Jess-
"Aww!"

Hunter-
"You gotta get yourself out there like, hello world! It's me!
But I respect your personal boundaries. So what are we
gonna rock on our big road trip?"


Berthe-
"Rock?  Music?"

Jess-
"Thought so!"

Hunter-
"Awesome, haha, I don't know if I'm rock enough for you,
wanna take control Berthe?"

He handed her his MP3 player-- not the rockingest, but
he had an expansive library like any proper rich kid.


Berthe-
"Yeah... I guess so..."  She took an inordinate amount of
time before settling on a movie soundtrack with lots of
old punk and proto-punk.  "I bought us a half hour.  You
can take over after that."

Jess-
"Nice!  This movie was so hip."

 Hunter took the scenic route by the waterfront, and with his
expensive car he wasn't about to get pulled over for speeding.
They reached a park with an electronically monitored gate
area with glaring signs of "NO ENTRY PAST 6 PM" all over.
Hunter just parked in a grocery store parking lot a block
away, and they walked toward the fence.

Hunter glanced this way and that, and hopped the fence.

Hunter-
"I wish we could fly, I wanna see the top of this thing
  but climbing all these stairs is going to be a drag."

Jess and Berthe came over.


Berthe-
 "As windy as it is out here, just climb the outside.  They will
probably have locks and alarms on the door.  If it's still in use."

Jess-
"No!  I'd get blown off and squished!"


Berthe-
"Climbing is one of the easiest powers.  You can do it."
 
Hunter-
"Good thinking Berthe. C'mon Jess, we gotta learn sometime!
And look, we'll be out here with this great view, the sea breeze..."

A short while later, all three were quite hungry, as Berthe and Hunter
    donated a great deal of blood to regenerating splattered Jess.


Berthe-
"Maybe it's more difficult than I remember."

Hunter-
"Guess we have to keep trying. How about that view though!
We have to come out here again, that beach looks so peaceful..."

And that it did.


                                                                                                                              ***

  Jess waved good-bye to Hunter as he took off with a Random Karl
on the back of his scooter.  Karl muttered to himself, but Hunter could
    hear every word, over the sound of the road and the scooter.

Karl-
"What the hell am I doing?  I have sooo much work due."

Hunter decided to take the long way, this guy needed to live a
little! Maybe stop for some coffee first to fuel their adventure!

Karl-
"_* extended grumbles _*"

They reached a coffee shop on the ultra-west-side, an area
 technically considered the town after the next town over.
Karl wobbled when he got off the bike.

Hunter-
"Hey pal, looks like you could use a pick-me-up! Some nice hot coffee?"

Karl-
"What are we doing out here? Need to buy factory furniture at low low prices?"
 
Hunter-
"Well, I was thinking we could stop by this amaaazing run-down factory and--"

A man carrying a to-go cup burst out of the door in a rush--

Karl-
"Huh.  That could be kind of a - AAAAUGGGGH! "

Hunter-
"Oh my gosh-- oh no, ouch. Uh... uh... should I call someone?"

Karl-
"Why not before..?  I've been drinking tea.  DRINKING TEA ! ! !"

Hunter-
"Uh, I think there's an urgent care facility down the road?"

And so it was with them wild boys, waylaid by the curse of the scalded penis.


                                                                                                                                          ***

Cameron and Tristan were strolling outside the club, contemplating a taxi home at four in the morning.  When suddenly, a motorscooter reversed in the streets and drove up onto the sidewalk headed straight for them.  The passengers were vampires!

Cameron-
"They're back!  Run for it!"                    Tristan-
                                                                         "Eek!"

Tristan turned into a bat and hopped on Cam's shoulder
as he super-jumped to the top of the club's awning.  The
scooter pulled to a halt and Hunter yelled from below.

Hunter-
"Aw! I thought you could jump on the back!"

They stopped fleeing and looked down, Tris still in bat form.


Cameron-
"Who are..?  The sad kids?"

Jess took off her helmet.

Jess-
"No way.  We're the happy ones.  Looking to spread some joy."

Cameron-
"Mm... OK, we're coming down."

  Hunter and Jess lay in wait, squirtguns at the ready...
     As they reached the ground, Tristan turned himself back into a man,
  and they were being deluged!  The Dragomirs went hopping for cover.

Tristan-
"They join badboy!  Shoot poisons at us!"
 
Hunter-
"Hahaha, think fast!"

He tossed the boys some spare arms.  Cameron caught
    both, splashing more incidental water on his suit coat.

      
Cameron-
"What what?  Dude!  This is like a five hundred glen jacket!"

Jess-
"Uh oh!  Better move faster then!"

They hid behind cars.

Tristan-
"I don't shoots at badboy
avver again!  I doesn't even hit him!"           Cameron-
                                                                  "It's cool bro, it's just water guns."

Hunter-
"For now it is! Next time it's water balloons--
     that were refrigerated! Hahaha..."

Tristan-
"I don't understand."

Jess swiveled around a corner and blasted on him.

Jess-
"It's about fun, dude!"
  
              Cameron-
"I think I've decided that I hate spontaneity."

...And thusly, did Hunter and Jess establish themselves in the world of HARLAN after DARK!