(( ∆§Indea§∆ DKender - If I messed anything up in my collective version here, please let me know. I made some changes that connect the scenes and edited for grammar, but I could have messed up some awesome thing you wrote or added new improper grammar. Feel free to critique and complain about any changes you don't like.))Twas a kickass night in Harlan. Mildred was puttering along on her skateboard, her scarf billowing like a violet neck cape, when she encountered a weird sight. This time, it wasn't a pair chaotic young vampires with impeccable wardrobes. Nay! Tonight, she saw a bunch of scraggly youth sitting around a large garbage can on a flame. A strange smelling liquid bubbled and licked inside. These kids would occasionally stir or throw something in. They didn't seem to notice Mildred there until one of them strutted away and lit up a cigarette.
"Beat it, ya oldie."
She raised her proud middle finger high. "I'll beat you first..."
Suddenly, a spider swarm coalesced. The spindly legs and small, plump bodies formed a blond guy who liked making eye contact. He turned his wide, blue peepers on the grumpy youth.
"That was terribly rude..." The blond guy scowled. "Apologize to Mildred. She is a friend of my dear friend Jack and is therefore also my friend because the friend of a friend is a friend
indeed." Mildred looked at the odd blonde boy and then at the scraggly youth.
"You heard the odd boy. Apologize, you booger!"
The blonde youth, indeed, was making very stern eye contact at uncomfortably close proximity with the smoking rapscallion. Spry as the rude ruffian may be, he couldn't move quick enough to do anything about it, for the strange staring fellow jumped gracefully next to Mildred. By now the action had the attention of all the kids around the trash can.
Among these kids one particularly robust redhead, his face smeared with a glistening liquid and his body swaddled in dark velvet robes, had something quite alarming behind him. A creature that looked quite a lot like a scraggly turkey perched on the fence. While not quite tall enough, it was nearly the size of the average human man.
Wait. No. Not turkey. The end of its muzzle was blunt and toothy, and rather than full wings it seemed to carry impressive claws at the end of its appendages. Its feet were taloned, not unlike a bird of prey, but blunter. The creature watched them intently, preparing to make its move. It looked to the robed kid as if waiting for direction. Drool pooled around it's toothy muzzle. The kid grinned like a cat that had swallowed a canary- a very large canary.
"Take that, Hog. You said it wouldn't work."
"Okay, okay. I'll buy you a soda," the sandy haired smoker replied, rolling his eyes.
The robed boy pointed at Mildred and the funny blonde, "Show me your loyalty, scum. Get the oddball and the old geezer!"
The great beast shot his instructor a look before running forward on it's claws with it's hind legs in the air like an acrobat from hell. It's neck curved up so that it's massive jaws, opened wider than should be physically possible, exposed four rows of glistening teeth, prepared to shred whatever came its way.
"Think fast!" Shouted Mildred as she produced a humongous can of hairspray and lighter from her hefty purse.
The creature stopped in confusion and hopped aside with more grace than was usual for such an awkward creature. It raised some feathered claws in a sign of peace, then spoke in a raspy high pitched voice, "Yuu thiink I'dd lissten to thesse wormsss? They arrre not fiit to clean my talonssss. Yuu and yurrr blonde powerful friend on the other hand? We could talk termsss."
The robust robed boy looked indignant, his face turning nearly dark a red as his hair. Hog sniggered. The other youths seemed rather keen on not being there, quickly making themselves scarce.
"I, Eugene Pickle, demand you listen to me, Errgroggie! It was I who brought you forth, to wreak my will against those who have wronged me."
The noble being slowly looked back at the young man clutching robes angrily in his pudgy hands, giving him as annoyed an expression a creature such as itself could.
"Wrong demon. My namesss Igogi, yuuu ffffoool. Humansss… Am I right, blonde one?"
Mildred still had the hairspray, ready to cause havoc. Her scarf blew rebelliously in the wind.
"What
is this shit?"
"Oh, I think humans can be quite charming," Theodore says with a tilt of the head. His exterior was calm, but he was really very excited to find another potential ally.
"I am making so many friends these days!" he thought to himself.
"Yesss, thaaatt caaann indeed be truuue," Igogi said, his many teeth clicking gently together with the words he spoke, "however, theessse humanss are ssserrrtainly lacking charrm. Wouldn'tt youu agreee?" he motioned towards each punk individually, including those that were escaping far into the night. Igogi would get them later, of course.
Mildred, composed and cool in the face of terror, shouted, "Whatever, man!" and ignited some hairspray through her lighter flame, not sure who she was aiming at. She didn't really care by this point.
Igogi looked at her, clicking his teeth, "Ffffiessty one isssn't sshhee? I wontt gett iiinn your waaayy." He politely stepped aside so that she had one clear target. Mildred grinned, aiming the lit gas at the head robed punk. "I like you Igogi. You heard him. Scram or this old hag's gonna burn her some punk ass!"
The boy looked indignant but scrambled away, his robes flying about and awkwardly tripping him up. Hogg stuck around unfazed by all the commotion. He brushed hair out of his pimpled face and took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry I smart mouthed ya before miss, but I'd like to help ya out. You're way cooler than my friends. You walk the talk."
Theodore grinned. "We should all go boating!"
Igogi was far too distracted by Hog's insolence to hear Theodore. He slowly lowered his hindquarters to a neutral stance, turned to Hog, took the hooligan in his claws and stared hard into his eyes. "Let'ssss go fiind your friendssss," he gently rumbled and leaped to the rooftops in a single bound.
Theodore was still attempting to convince Mildred to go sailing with him as she watched Igogi hop across the rooftops, Hog screaming in his grasp. "It is so peaceful on the waters at this time of night," He chirruped. "I can teach you how to adjust the backstay!"
As Hog was carried away from Theodore and Mildred, his life flashed before his eyes. He lingered on one very special memory:
A young Hog is chillin' in preschool. He leans against the playroom wall and pretends to smoke a crayon. Five-year-old Eugene approaches. The lad wears a black windbreaker tied around his neck like a dorky little cape.
"Ey, Hog, let's be friens."
"I donno. You're kinda weird."
"We can summon demons together. Pweese?"
"Uhhh. Okay."It was the worst decision he ever made. Damn you, preschool self. Damn you!
Meanwhile, on the ground, Mildred raised a hand to interrupt Theodore's friendly yabbering.
"Shouldn't we stop that Igogi fella? The kid knows his stuff. I do walk the talk."
Theodore looked up and sighed, "Oh, I suppose." He offered Mildred his hand.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Take my hand. I will fly you to the roofs so we may begin the chase."
"Oh, hell naw. I'm finding my own way up!" Mildred shuffled around inside her bag for a while until she found a yellow umbrella with big, red polkadots. She used its handle to pull down an apartment fire escape ladder and she hoisted herself up, cussing in the struggle to get her feet onto the first rung. Theodore sighed again, "If you would just take my hand..."
"Nuh uh," Mildred muttered as her right foot nearly reached its goal, "I've got this!"
Approximately five minutes later she had caught up to Theodore, who had been waiting for her at the top. After taking another minute to massage her back she said, "Alright, let's save that kid."
"We'll need to find out where the creature took him now that a little time has passed. Igogi I think it was called? Yes, he will have gathered the occultist children and hidden them underground by now."
Mildred bugged her eyes out at Theodore, "Then why didn't you stop me from climbing up here?!"
"You just seemed so determined... Anyway." Theodore returned to the form he first appeared in. Spiders floated off on the wind in all directions.
"I will be back in a bit!" Theodore's voice echoed into the night.
Mildred watched, huffing with annoyance as the spiders made their way to the newly opened sewer entrance. The climb up had not been for naught. She made her way down, skipping steps as she could and bustled towards the hole. Damn if she was going to wait for some weird spider kid. What was that about anyway? One second he wanted to fly her up to the roof and the next he buggered off. She was about chaos not flipping magic. Nope. She wasn't having any of it.
She dug into her bag and brought out her trusty pen torch, two mints and a switchblade she'd nicked off some bloke in the riots. It was time for action!
"I'm coming after you sodding kids. Global chaos forever! Fucking demons."
Once again, Mildred's scarf flapped like a triumphant superhero cape. She climbed underground and entered the kind of sewer that often appeared in movies: shadowy, wet, and oddly sterile. In fact, the water streaming around her feet smelled like a pine forest. Fresh!
She swept her light back and forth. Nothing. Not even spiders. "Watch your back, Igoobi." Mildred marched forward.
After taking a couple turns, she hesitated and glared at a shadowy figure lurking in the water. Then, Mildred grinned. "Let's catch a demon, Sewer-gator." The gator, which had been flushed down a toilet by some jerk kid several years ago, but fortunately survived to grow into a giant critter with some help from radioactive lightning (Just like all the urban legends your relatives forward you in email messages claim!) gnashed its teeth. Then, it let Mildred climb on its back. Yea verily! She rode the gator like a surfer of the apocalypse. That demon didn't stand a chance.
Mr. Gator expertly escorted Mildred through the maze-like tunnels, green water flying in their wake (It was giving off more of a grapefruity scent now.). "So, I think it's time I asked: Where are you taking me, my scaly brother?" He roared an answer, but Mildred didn't speak alligator. She shrugged.
Mr. Gator slid on his belly down a giant pipe built like a haphazard water slide. "Yeeaaaaah, baby!" Mildred cheered. They landed at the bottom with crashing waves all around them. Once they subsided Mildred could see the first two lads to flee the earlier scene.
"Oi! Kiddos," She called, jumping down from Mr. Gator and into the aromatic water. Before she got too close to the boys she noticed their teeth were jagged and bared, and their eyes were glowing orange. "Don't touch them," Theodore warned, appearing from somewhere high above.
))
Oh, well. She has the super power of being Mildred.))