SPECIAL - BALLCANMISS 2 - Electric Alexaloo

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

Alex pulled out reserves of strength, endurance, and speed he knew he would have to pay for, and before reaching the dock, he found a gravelly alley of broken pavement and dead grass that looked good for confusing his pursuer.

There were multiple small buildings to duck into, and the trees hanging over the alley had left bare earth in front of them that would confound the ability to track footprints, hopefully.

As he disappeared into a house, Colqhoun found his footprints leading into the alley.

Colqhoun-
"Hm... Which way did he go?"

His voice was loud enough to be heard by Alex - a clear taunt - but quiet enough in the blustery winter to not carry back to his fellow teammates.

[DKender]

Alarmed, Alex drew against the wall. The physical strain of his escape was taking its toll. Every breath ached, since the air was bitterly cold, but he also felt sweaty and hot from sprinting. Why couldn't it be a warmer winter?

Well, what now? Bullets didn't work, so his baseball bat was useless. Fire might do the trick. Too bad he didn't carry around a flame thrower.

Unbidden, scenes from one of his favorite childhood movies - Home Alone - popped into Alex's head.

The door creaked open, and Pastor Cannibal stepped into the building.

Pastor Cannibal - Come out, Alex! It's nearly suppertime!

Suddenly, a tin can fell from the door and covered him in blue paint. Blinded, he stumbled around and tripped over a nail-studded board, falling onto a puddle of super glue ...

Absurd! Alex didn't have time for this imagination stuff.

He considered hiding in a closet, but that would completely trap him if Colqhoun wised up. He ducked behind an overturned desk instead - there was a window nearby that he could use to make a quick escape. Unless Colqhoun popped through the glass instead.

Maybe, if he was really quiet, the cursed man would go away.

He took out his investigation notebook and scribbled a goodbye message for his friends. It was the fifth goodbye message he'd written that year. Surviving the apocalypse was treacherous!

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

Alex finished his goodbye message, hearing occasional muffled taunts from the pastor, interspersed with creepy haunted house noises - grinds, scrapes, and whistles like a wind from Dimension X. The world was treacherous indeed.

At last, something happened. Colqhoun came in, calmly walked across the floor, and sat on the floor by his desk, legs folded in a half-lotus.

Colqhoun-
"So. We haven't had a chance to talk since I was shot I the face. I have to say, I didn't know how that was going to go. It's a strange thing, to not know what you are. And I had hoped, when I saw that pamphlet, that you 403 people could help me."

... What do you think?

[DKender]

After his heart rate dropped from 'Holy Shit, I'm Gonna Die' to 'Holy Smokes, I May Die Soon,' Alex imitated the Pastor's half-lotus position. He toyed with his baseball bat and then hugged it like a security blanket. So this was what cows feel like before they became tasty burgers.

"Yeah, I can help you. But first promise that you'll do the right thing, when I'm finished. Okay?"

He didn't want to specify that "the right thing" was probably self-immolation. Hopefully, whatever good still survived in Colqhoun would work that part out itself.

"Promise?"

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

Colqhoun-
"The right thing?"



Colqhoun-
"I think I can manage."


Colqhoun-
"Now... You were saying?"

The haunted house noises included crashing metal and distant shouts. Ballard was creepy.

[DKender]

Well, that was good enough for him! Time to buy precious time with a long, dark tale of winter, famine, and cannibalism. But first, he decided to start with some useful background information!

"Once upon a time in Sunny California, I was a massive brat. The brattiness was over 9000 when I felt hungry. So my mom always said, 'The Wendigo will possess you,' because she wanted me to shut up about food. Which was understandable. So I asked Dad, 'What's a wendigo?' and he said, 'It's an evil spirit makes people eat their family.' That's why I slept in the closet for a week during the first grade.

"Anyway, the story gets better. Obviously, Dad wasn't a monster expert, so I asked my aunt, 'Will I really eat my family?' And she explained that it's pretty unlikely. Basically, the Wendigo possesses people when they're starving ... usually after they eat human flesh during the famine months of winter. It drives them insane. Human meat becomes a drug! A really addictive drug, like heroin. Or ... tobacco.

"After she told me more about the Wendigo, Auntie got mad because mom used its name lightly, and Mom got mad because 'The only real spirit is the Holy Ghost,' and they didn't speak for a couple days after, but that happened pretty often. Those two experienced major sibling rivalry. Do you follow me so far, Pastor Colqhoun?"

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

   
Colqhoun-
"Wendigo... I feel like I read about this once. Charming. Go on..."

[DKender]

"Not charming! I think you've become one! Everything fits. First, you were starving during the winter. And then you ate MAN. And then you felt the really big hunger. And now you're worse than a ghoul, Pastor! This cannibalism thing can't go on. You'll eat all your friends and strangers and even acquaintances like me. But it's okay. We can fix this. You want to fix it, right?"

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

   
Colqhoun-
"Yes. It is terrible."

   
Colqhoun-
"But I still don't know... Does a wendigo have some kind of powers?
How do I do the things I do? How was I shot like that, and still live?"

[DKender]

"Well, the stories about your kind are different, depending on the tribe. But everyone agrees that somebody who is possessed by the Wendigo becomes faster and stronger than mere mortals, which is obviously true, because you ran me down. And I play baseball AND dance. Also, Wendigos are basically indestructible. Oh, there are ways to kill you, but it'll take something other than a bullet to the face. Uhh. I bet you can barely feel the cold, too. What about your senses? Can you hear my heartbeat? Can you sense my body heat? Can you SMELL me?! I took an apocalypse bath last night ..."

He flipped to a new page of his notebook and looked at Colqhoun expectantly.

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

   
Colqhoun-
"Not much of that... I'm faster and stronger, and my health... I used to be very unhealthy, but no more... But what of these ways of destroying me? I should know those if I'm to 'do the right thing', hm?"

[DKender]

"Oh yeah! There are a couple ..."

He picked up the bat again, quickly.



"Waaaaait a sec. Are you just being nice to gather intel about your weak spots? I'm not THAT gullible, Pastor Colqhoun! Let's keep talking after my friends are safe in 403."

Tell him only baseball bats can end a Wendigo's suffering!

No way. Colqhoun wasn't that gullible, either.

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

   
Colqhoun-
"Yeah... that isn't going to happen. Your friends? I'm definitely going to eat them. As for you... We're going to have to see."

[DKender]

"LIKE HECK YOU WILL!"

He stood quickly.



"Micah is stringy! He has no substance, like a squirrel! And Patti and Ashley are filled with old bullets from gun fights, so they'll give you lead poisoning. And Davin ... he ... he has a really bad infection everywhere. They all make horrible food! Don't! Don't even THINK about it!"

[Thy Dungyeon Maestyr]

   
Colqhoun-
"Oh, give me that."

((Colqhoun has 20 to grab your bat. Alex has been fighting so long he's all the way up to +4 to combat rolls. Huzzah! Make him regret this maneuver. Our dice here don't work, so use random.org and the honor system. Defenders win ties.))