|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 14, 2016 21:20:09 GMT -8
((omfg my mom came over to talk about church shit with me satan deliver me please oh please)) Darren- "Yeah. Yeah... God wants all them fuckers in heaven or hell. It's unacceptable ghost action."
Anselm- "Elly-- ohhhhh haff you seen a ghost before? You haff to kill it, it rides on a shoe inside. Can't get out of a carpet... ugh..."
Darren fired a terrible shot that soared through the heavens. Anselm- "Vhat's a best music? I play hmmmmmm..." He dug through the CDs, knocking them all over. "Rotten Boys-- oh yeah. It's a good noisy." He fumbled into getting an obnoxious song like this on. The stereo speakers strained with the effort. Darren- "Essential man. They're it. They're the source, bro. It's alright. Not everyone can listen to the original blend."
Anselm- "Hey Elly..."
He leaned close, smelling like wet earth and meaty blood. Anselm- "Cool hat."
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 14, 2016 23:41:33 GMT -8
((Haha, right? I was literally typing most of that while she was yakin that shit)) Darren- "Oh, yeah? What are we shootin' then? Swamp gas?" Anselm- "No way, it's dead now. Either vay. It ztays far from us, safe man. It's zafe to be us."
Darren- "Good. Make sure the safety's on."
Anselm- "You got 'dhe gun."
Darren- "Oh yeah. What part is the safety?" He examined the side, wiggling pieces of metal. Anselm- "I dunno, I just shoot it, zafe enough for me." Anselm blinked a few times at Eli's offer. Anselm- "Ohh jacket's cool, yeah? Check it out--" He pulled it off and pointed out a section that had been sloppily stitched together. Anselm- "It gets torn vith my arm... it's funny."
Darren- "Blughhh... H-hey, you said it was safe man. Can't trust you."
Anselm- "It gets glued on, no problem. Got to cut 'dhe arm off vhen Dorein gets in. Grow a new one, on god's side."
Darren- "Yagh! Witchcraft is evil, it's against god, man."
Anselm- "Hey, don't vorry about it. Vee kill 'dhe Teufel, purify every'dhing. I dunno. Hey-- you a vitch, Elly? You got a vitch outfit..."
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 0:25:10 GMT -8
Anselm put his coat over his head and gathered the sleeves under his chin like a very silly hat. Anselm- "Vell--"
Darren- "You don't have to answer that, it's a free country man." Anselm- "Ohh it is? Huh. Okay it's free. I don't like a god spirit inside, I keep out vith a gun." Anselm- "Hey Darren, give a gun."
Darren- "Sure, come with all that kinda shit and expect me to arm you like they don't give out automatics at the loony bin." Anselm- "Hey man, I protect you from dead boys, don't I? Already today?"
Darren- "I guessssss" He handed over the gun, and Anselm flopped on his belly with it, pointing it off the edge of the roof like a sniper. Anselm- "Oh no, do you see-- 'Dhey jealous of immortal, gotta take it out, at a root, portals to 'dhe underworld." He shot at another gravestone, with a loud crack. Darren- "Good shot. But I think you have to hit them right in the gonad." Anselm nodded solemnly, and lined up the next shot. Darren- "Maybe next time, we have enough guns to share. Woebetide anyone who tries to stop us. Although..."
He looked back at Eli.
Darren- "How do we know you're on our side? Perhaps you should perform an auto-de-fe. You ain't no heretic, are you?" *GUNSHOT* Anselm- "One less gonad, one less ghost."
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 1:06:16 GMT -8
Darren- "Oh shit... What if-- what if life's really just passing you by..."
Anselm- "Vee died. No life to pass..."
Darren- "No-- yeah-- we died man. We're gone. We're just gone. There's nothing there anymore. Seein' art. Hearin' that good music..." A saxophone had been squalling for 2 and a half minutes straight. Darren- "You know, the guy who played that saxophone, he's dead! He can't see a concert! He can't see one!"
Anselm- "Shit... oh no. Ohhh no. How do vee see anything..."
He rolled on to his back suddenly, tangling with the gun for a moment and letting his sunglasses slip below his nose.
Anselm- "Are vee 'dhe ghosts?!"
Darren- "Yeah! That makes sense man. That makes total sense. Have we been shooting ourselves?" Anselm made a feeble wave toward his crotch, but didn't have the energy to make it there. Anselm- "I don't know... vhat about gonads... I need it. Looks veird vithout--" A block away, a siren blared and colorful lights flashed in the darkness. Anselm- "Verdammtes Schwein Männer!"
Darren- "Oh shit! Pigs, man!"
Anselm- "Eh who cares, vee got a gun. 'Dhey only got a banana. 'Eh wot.' "
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 12:04:59 GMT -8
Darren- "You don't understand, Eli! They got infrared beams that'll give ya pink-eye! It's 'cause the government!"
Anselm- "No way, I don't skate, I give a 'pow pow' tell 'dhem to back off, vee too busy. Don't need piggie pigs." Anselm stumbled to his feet, arranging his garments in the slowest ways possible. The music continued to squall, and the sirens arrived in the church parking lot. Lights strobed from below and turned the roof into a garish dance club.
Darren skittered up against a chimney pipe and looked around wildly. Darren- "It's happening! The jig is up!" Anselm tottered closer to the edge of the roof. Anselm- "Grunz grunz! Do you understand international piggie pig? "
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 15:46:49 GMT -8
Anselm- "Nah, nah... I just gonna shoot 'dhem a little. Not on, just next to, don't vorry... Just in a blinky blinks... Too much flashing."
Darren- "Eli! Watch out bruh! Gun safety! If ya touch his shoulder, he might go off! He might explode in yer face like a grenade!"
Anselm- "No no no, you can't grab it. It's made of smoke, can't touch. Falls apart to pieces... Gotta make it solid, take off a lights." Anselm was unaware of Eli's approach. It was easy to grab him, as he was neither strong nor fast in his current state. He weighed about the same as a stretched out bag of flour. He flailed weakly and dropped the gun. Anselm- "Whoa, a ghost got! Darren, ugh, gotta get it! Hilf mir!"
Darren- "Don't explode bro! Don't explode!"
COP VOICE FROM BELOW- "Hey! You up there!"
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 16:34:11 GMT -8
Anselm seemed to let himself be dragged, his body limp and boots clunking over the roof tiles. The cops were all gathered on the opposite side of the building, not yet trying to get around the tall iron gates. The unlit graveyard drew out into the darkness, some scraggly woods in the distance.
Anselm- "Darren, help! Pulls me to 'dhe undervorld! Ghost revenge! Vee don't take it serious!"
Darren- "Nah dude, nah dude! That's not a ghost, man! That's not a ghost! You're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay, right?" He followed with a shuffling gait, tucking the noisy stereo under one arm. Anselm's head lolled feebly. Anselm- "No! No no no! I don't vant to go in a grave! It's too quiet! Too much dirt, only need a little! I zorry to die! I don't mean to! Nooo don't bury!"
Darren- "It's cool, bro! It's no ghost! It's no ghost! You'll keep us safe from ghosts, right Eli? You've got his gun, man. That's next-level trust shit!"
|
|
|
Post by Thy Dungyeon Maestyr on May 15, 2016 16:57:55 GMT -8
Darren- "If ... If you say so I... Oh man oh man..." Coppish noises abounded, moving this way and that, saying things, grunz grunz.
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 17:04:19 GMT -8
Anselm started singing in a weak voice as he was dragged. Eli didn't recognize it, probably some ye anciente Grauwave. Anselm- ♪♫ Oh oh, bis zum Grab, unter sterbende Gras Geister verschlingen ... ♪♫ Anselm- ♪♫ Lass mich nicht sterben, fallen in die Unterwelt... Oh oh, Geister erheben, treffen mich dort ... ♪♫
|
|
|
Post by Thy Dungyeon Maestyr on May 15, 2016 17:21:29 GMT -8
Darren- "Naw, man, naw... Oh man we are so fucked!" The cops were shining a strobing light out over the stones. Did Eli freeze, or keep on?
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 17:30:21 GMT -8
Anselm- ♪♫ Oh oh töten das Blinky Blinks ... Polizei wollen eine Banane... ♪♫
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 18:04:20 GMT -8
Anselm- "OH! Vee hiding from a ghost?! Hey-- it helps!" Eli found himself holding a little deer instead of a scrawny dude. Anselm- "Eohhh!"
Darren scrambled around, squeezing behind a tombstone. Darren- "Oh shit! He got pinkeye! That's what pinkeye looks like, right? Shit, I dunno, I don't know anything! How do I let myself get into these situations?!"
Darren tried to make himself as small as possible, crunching and scrunching until bits of fluff popped loose, feathers floating in Eli's shadows, and Darren had reduced himself to the size of a bread loaf.
Darren- "Oooh..."
|
|
|
Post by Thy Dungyeon Maestyr on May 15, 2016 18:23:17 GMT -8
Eli could hear the cops walking out into the tombstones, but tentatively. The spotlight had passed over his exact spot a few times - the shadows must be working well enough.Cop Voice- "Huh. Does this damage look fresh to you?"
Cop Radio- "-tatus on 452 at Saunders and 381. Four reporting in, suspect not sighte-"
Cop Two- "Yeah. God damn who the hell desecrates graves?"
|
|
|
Post by ◊◊BLOODBEASTER◊◊ on May 15, 2016 18:27:25 GMT -8
The little deer shifted weakly, its very long, slender legs hanging awkwardly from Eli's arms. Anselm- " *snuff* "
The owl trembled and scooted back and forth restlessly. Darren- "Wooo..."
|
|
|
Post by Thy Dungyeon Maestyr on May 15, 2016 19:01:11 GMT -8
Cop One- "World class turds. Prob'ly fuckin' kids."
Cop Two- "Fuckin' kids, Grady. Wish they'd tripped over their asses on the way out."
Cop One- "Oh yeah. I'd give 'em a world-class ass-kicking."
Cop Two- "Fuckin' A, Grady." He felt the shadows change as the men moved between them and the light source, closer still, but even slower...
|
|